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Post by Alfred F. Jones on May 12, 2012 19:47:03 GMT -5
TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJ!!!!!!!!!
Yeah I think that's for the best bud. Leave in the past what's in the past now.
Uh... sorry I guess? Yes... I mean no! Ah crap what the hell would I say yes for? Uh... And I'm always prepared for anyone destroying the world! Not just you! HA HA! Because I'm the Hero! Hey I can totally be mature and shit sometimes! That's right! You totally are yourself I should never have doubted you buddy! My own kids could never be possessed because they're far too AMERICAN! Dude I worry about all of you states, I mean you're my kids, I'm your dad it's what I do. Technically I think they consider us government property to an extent, bud. That gives them the right in their heads. Silly right? Just try not to hit them too hard because we do have to pay for their medical. I don't know! Why are you asking me? What makes you think I know what I was thinking when I was thinking when I wrote that?
.... Well... you might have a little bit of a point there... but still... it's the principle of the thing. Uhhhh..... WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME HARD QUESTIONS!? And it's not enough! You deserve presents and cake and attention and balloons and clowns! Have you even given most of them a chance Teej? I'm sure there must be some you could tolerate. Hey I'm being serious I'd like to spend some time with you! Even if it's only a couple hours. The point it I want to spend some time with you because you're my son and that matters to me.
Which siblings? There must be some of them that you could get along with. I mean there are so many of you! Fine, fine...... I really need to work on my educational system don't I... I mean... that's ridiculous even for us... Sorry bud. I worry sometimes Sport. I try to be a good dad but I know I've made my share of screw-ups and I know there are some of you with less than favorable opinions of me. Sometimes I worry that I might have finally screwed-up one time too many. Ah well that's not quite so bad then and it's probably a good idea too...
Love, Dad
P.S. HA! SEE! TOTALLY!
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Post by Timothy James Jones on May 14, 2012 5:37:04 GMT -5
Dear Christopher,
I would prefer to be called by my name, if you please. Or a reasonable nickname I could deal with as well, I suppose... You were sick? Honestly, Christopher, you need to take better care of yourself! Have you been polar-swimming again? Do you need me to come up and keep an eye on you? I don't have a terrible chunk of work right now, and if I ask the neighbors to keep an eye on the other animals Houdini and I could be up within a few days. But I am not doing your work for you.
...You were swimming again. Christopher, you really need to be more careful. It's no wonder you're sick, or that you were... The weather has been beautiful down here as well, very warm and sunny, great for the crops. Even though it wasn't a winter I was used to I still prefer the warmer months before summer. I hope this isn't a sign that it will be ridiculously warm this summer. The constant rain was bad enough last year...
Sincerely, Timothy James "TJ" Jones
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Post by Timothy James Jones on May 14, 2012 5:51:40 GMT -5
Dear Daniel,
Doesn't it make us all a little sick? Honestly, he is the worst sore winner... Now, if he were winning something absolutely spectacular like the Olympics, I could understand. But he is so smug all the time, I can never bring myself to root for him except when he's playing against our non-Midwest siblings. Must have some regional pride and all that.
I perfectly understand, Daniel, don't worry. I still have troubles rooting between the Hawkeyes and the Cyclones when they play each other... I love the Hawkeyes, but it would be nice for the Cyclones to win, they are a good team. Plus that school gave us the first digital computer, even if I'm not as 'in love' with the technology as everyone else seems to be Ah, I must admit I do tend to root for the Cubs over the Sox. A curse? I doubt it, they just haven't managed to get the right team together, that's all... Missouri's team? You mean the Cardinals?! ....Oh, Daniel, really? That's almost as bad as Elena rooting for the Red Sox. Don't you ever tell him, Daniel. He will never let you live that down.
Well, thank you again, I suppose... Though baseball season has started and I'm not sure I really want to go to Emily's birthday this year... She's bound to have the game on and Alexis and Elena's teams are playing against each other. I'd like to keep both my heads where they should be, thank you very much.*
Sincerely, Timothy
((*Oh my God, Timmy's actually making penis jokes now. >>))
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Post by Timothy James Jones on May 14, 2012 7:22:01 GMT -5
Dear Da--Father,
...Please don't write my name so obnoxiously in your letters, I can practically hear you shouting that in my head when I read that and it gives me the creeps, I keep expecting you to pop out of my closet or from the basement to tackle me in a hug or something of the sort a headache.
Then I shall...I suppose...
......Father, I...I-I think you just cut my soul with that, I really do. My control over my temper is exemplary, thank you very much. To think that you don't even trust that...I don't know if my soul can take the hurt*. At least I'm not the only one you prepared for, even if you've only done so because of all those horror movies and games you've been spending so much time on... Speaking of which... C-Could I borrow Silent Hill: Downpour? I'm technically not old enough to buy it, s-so... I know you own it, a-and I was just wondering you don't have to let me borrow it if you don't want to.** ...I'm sure that there are plenty of people who believe that because we are American we would be more likely to be possessed, since there's some superstition that the more you believe in ghosts the easier it is to be controlled by them or some ridiculous nonsense. It is still unnecessary to worry about me, I am doing quite well. Besides, if something was wrong I would tell you. I would worry more about Agents Harrison and Lewis if I were you. I won't tolerate those bastards sending people into my house and bugging it, Father! I am no one's property and they are going to learn that even if I have to-- I can't promise that. ...Because you are the one who first brought it up. You were trying to say something about how I talk. Um...Because people usually do know what they were thinking when they say something? Honestly, did Tony replace your brain with ground beef?
...It's not like I'd want to see those irritating brats either if I had a choice in the matter... Father, these aren't really hard questions to answer but rather just to tell you to stop making yourself sound like a hypocrite. ...Balloons and attention and...a clown? Father, I haven't had a clown at my birthday...ever. T-That just sounds ridiculous... It's really not that important a day to me. And as we've already clarified I wouldn't be getting much attention with them all there anyway, so what's the point? Of course I've given those who come a chance, Father. It is not my fault that I hate the fact that they all deem my life "boring" and give me shit about it. "How's it going up there? Seems damn boring," "You're awfully formal and so withdrawn," "You're a rather....meh kind of person, Timothy, you know," "Still uptight as usual?" I don't really care for people saying things like this so why spend time with the people who do? Much easier to just stay home and take care of my plants and animals. ...You say that now, but you always get distracted and run off somewhere withing twenty minutes of spending time together, even when it's just the two of us. So it's a bit hard hard for me to believe you.
...I will admit, I don't have many problems with Emily or Carina, and when we aren't discussing football I don't have too many problems with Minnesota, but those are three out of forty nine siblings, Father. And no, Father, it's not your fault that my siblings are absolute idiots. I have the same education system they do and I would like to think I am intelligent. Just...don't worry about it, yes it's irritating but I'm used to it, I suppose... Or rather I've given up on making them smart enough to stop Honestly... It's nothing to worry about, alright? The decisions that you make, sure they may not be the best all the time, but you're the Hero, not a miracle worker. And honestly, have you led us too wrong yet? We're still one of the Superpowers and our economy is getting better. most of the problems we have could be alleviated if your states weren't slacking off so much and blaming you all the time. So don't worry, Father. You're doing fine.
Sincerely, TJ
-- *TJ is actually trying to make a joke here. >> **He's a game-nerd(something he actually picked up from Alfred) but he's too nervous to actually ask him to borrow the game. << He got embarrassed and chickened out And sorry for all the crossed lines and sorta bipolar-ness. TJ's a bit of a brat at heart even though he tries being all 'grown up'
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Post by Alfred F. Jones on May 14, 2012 13:14:44 GMT -5
TEEJ!
D'awwww c'mon Teej, buddy! You know you like it! Oh my god that's an awesome idea I wonder how soon I can book a plane to get down there... wait maybe I can just ask the Prez and borrow air-force one for a quick visit!
Dude, man, I'm so sorry I totally don't know why I would say yes. OH MY GOD WHAT IF THERE'S A DEMON IN MY HEAD! Oh no! Don't tell me I've wounded your soul! The horror! You'll be prey to the soul suckers who are just looking for a weakness! Dude I totally believe in your temper control!* Just like I believe in fairies, except for Arthur's... because his are just weird.
Hey I spend only the proper amount of time on scary movies and games! If you didn't Marathon them for days on end there wouldn't be a point to it! Teej, kiddo, of course you can borrow it! Actually you know what, even better! I'll just send you a copy of your own! That way you don't have to worry about sending it back!
Yeah well they're totally wrong! I mean, If any ghost came after me I could totally fight them off 'cause I'm the hero and all of you could too because you take after me and my awesome heroicness! Alright kiddo, I'll try not to worry despite the fact that it is my parental right. And I'm glad to hear you would let me know. Oh dear.... what did you do to them? I know we aren't anyone's property kid, just trying to explain what the suits seem to have gotten into their heads lately. Just let me know how much I'm going to have to pay for... Dammit Teej! Stop having a logical point to counteract my dazzling display of complete illogicalness! you were right but I just... it's horrible to say it isn't it. Ah, nah, not this week. That was last week. We kinda had a bit of a bet and so he put some in there as a placeholder while he kept my brain in a jar on the shelf for a little while to study it. It was pretty neat actually although I did start to miss things like my eyes and hands after a little while... and on the upside we now know that my brain is in perfect condition.
Most of them aren't that bad. If you really want to see an irritating brat take a look at Sealand, god that kid's annoying! NAH AH! THEY ARE TOTALLY HARD TO ANSWER! THEY ARE! You've never had a clown?!** Well I'm going to have to fix that because it's not ridiculous! Balloon animals and face painting are something every child deserves! unless they're afraid of clowns in which case that would be horribly mean And still it's an important day to me because without your birthday I would never have become your father and I'm happy to be your father. We can always distract them with the clown and sneak out to play games after a while or something. Just you and me buddy. I think I'm going to have to have a talk with them about being rude. You're allowed to live your life how you want to mostly... unless it's really unhealthy like trying to shut yourself away as a hermit. So don't spend time with them. Find the people who don't mind you being who you are and spend time more with them and just be polite to the rest. That's what big family gatherings are all about.*** I'm sorry kiddo... It's been a bit rough the last few times hasn't it, things have come up or I got distracted. But hey I promise, I'll turn off the phone this time and everything.
Three is still more than none, and I don't expect any of you to get along with everyone perfectly, just to be able to be mostly polite around each other. You are smart Teej, and I'm really proud of that, but I think you did a lot on your own didn't you? It's my job to provide you guys with a good educational foundation so if I haven't done that for them it is my fault to an extent isn't it? Teej... they'll get it someday... hopefully...
Thanks kiddo. I guess you're right things could be worse, although they could be better too. They aren't all slacking Teej, and some of it is on me. Thanks for the vote of confidence, bud.
Love, Dad
*getting very over-dramatic about the whole thing as per the usual ** he is obviously not aware that this is the state of many people... *facepalm* And many probably never want them. ***personal experience =.= Like I said I enjoy writing TJ I really do like these letters ^-^
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Post by Daniel N. Jones on May 15, 2012 20:17:50 GMT -5
Dear Daniel, Doesn't it make us all a little sick? Honestly, he is the worst sore winner... Now, if he were winning something absolutely spectacular like the Olympics, I could understand. But he is so smug all the time, I can never bring myself to root for him except when he's playing against our non-Midwest siblings. Must have some regional pride and all that. I perfectly understand, Daniel, don't worry. I still have troubles rooting between the Hawkeyes and the Cyclones when they play each other... I love the Hawkeyes, but it would be nice for the Cyclones to win, they are a good team. Plus that school gave us the first digital computer, even if I'm not as 'in love' with the technology as everyone else seems to be Ah, I must admit I do tend to root for the Cubs over the Sox. A curse? I doubt it, they just haven't managed to get the right team together, that's all... Missouri's team? You mean the Cardinals?! ....Oh, Daniel, really? That's almost as bad as Elena rooting for the Red Sox. Don't you ever tell him, Daniel. He will never let you live that down. Well, thank you again, I suppose... Though baseball season has started and I'm not sure I really want to go to Emily's birthday this year... She's bound to have the game on and Alexis and Elena's teams are playing against each other. I'd like to keep both my heads where they should be, thank you very much.* Sincerely, Timothy ((*Oh my God, Timmy's actually making penis jokes now. >>))Timothy, I understand bein' upset 'nd all but just the way he takes things. Regional pride is alright. Aye, at least we're not liven in the south. In the Mid-West we have seasons. It's hard ta favor one team from another. Especially when it's two of yer own. See, I could never pick over the White Sox and the Cubs. The Sox manage ta do alright and then the Cubs have had bad luck. It's just a little thing to me, espiecially down where my heart's at. And squaredancing, but that's another thing people really don't know. I would never let him know, trust me. Aye, that's fine. I wouldn't want ta have come between them and watch it. It's going ta be long anyways.* - Daniel (*Two can play at that xD)
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Post by Timothy James Jones on Jun 15, 2012 22:29:15 GMT -5
.....Dear D-Dad,
...Do you...want me to take over for D-Dani-- ...Illinois's work until the...new personification appears? And someone needs to take care of his plants and animals as well... I am able to do such things w-while we wait. it's the least I can do
Sincerely, Timothy
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Post by Alfred F. Jones on Jun 18, 2012 9:07:57 GMT -5
.....Dear D-Dad, ...Do you...want me to take over for D-Dani-- ...Illinois's work until the...new personification appears? And someone needs to take care of his plants and animals as well... I am able to do such things w-while we wait. it's the least I can doSincerely, Timothy Teej, Timothy I don't want you taking on anything more than you can handle. If that is what you want to do and you think you can handle it that's fine and you can help, but let me know if you need anything... Actually... I'll send someone else over there to help out as well, I don't want to overburden you when you have your own work as well. If you need me for anything you can always call or send me a text. I'll be in DC and I have a guest, but if you need me for any reason let me know and I'll be there. Love, Dad
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Post by Ryan Paterson Jones on Jun 18, 2012 13:33:02 GMT -5
TJ,
Hey little bro! Wud's up?! Anything new happening lately? How are yewr plants and animals? I bet that they are doing well because of yewr care for them. As for me, my garden is doing well and so is Ceres and Sparky, they are doing fine as well.
Right now, I am at Elena's house to hang over with her for a bit. It's been a while since I have came over to her state for a visit.
- Ryan
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Post by Timothy James Jones on Jun 23, 2012 14:19:44 GMT -5
Dear Dad,
I know you don't, but... Father, no one you could send would be able to take care of the animals and plants properly. I'll...I'll bring his livestock and pets to my home and take care of them, and hopefully I can convince a neighbor of his to tend to his field. I wouldn't be able to take care of both mine and his as well as my work.
I know, Dad... Don't worry about anything, I have what I can handle perfectly under control. A guest..? Who are you talking about?
Sincerely, Timothy
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Post by Alfred F. Jones on Jun 25, 2012 20:41:32 GMT -5
TEEJ,
Ok so long as you understand... and you're closer to all that so I suppose you would know better than I would. That sounds like a good plan, and just give the word because I can pay to have them taken care of. It would be impolite to burden his neighbors with more work without compensation. Yes I thought as much.
Okay buddy, but I can't help it if I worry about it a bit, but I'll trust you. Ah, yeah... Astrid is visiting... she and Daniel were very close...
Love, Dad
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Post by Timothy James Jones on Jul 27, 2012 16:47:35 GMT -5
Dear Ryan,
...I have been well. Apologizes for the rather delayed response, but this is a very busy part of the year for me. Nothing new, fortunately, other than extremely hot temperatures, powerful storms, and the like. I have been...indisposed, due to these abnormalities, but it is nothing too far from the ordinary. My plants...L-Let us not discuss them, please, though the animals are doing quite well so long as I can drag myself out of bed to feed, water, and cool them in the extreme heat. I am glad to hear that you haven't completely forgotten how to take care of plants in your busy city-life.
Take care of yourself. Football season is coming soon and...she is quite violent, as you well know. I do not want to hear of more fights between the two of you especially when the Chicago Bears will finally get back on their feet and take care of all your teams.
Sincerely,
T.J.
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Post by Ryan Paterson Jones on Jul 27, 2012 19:11:12 GMT -5
TJ,
No problem... I have been very busy also. And I know... The weather has been crazy over here too! Like how I gotten four heat waves in one month and last night's storm was also pretty bad. My city was under tornado watch for a while. Well Ceres, though she lives in the stable out of the county but, she's doing quite fine. And well Sparky... He's a bit more energetic than usual. And well... I do a lot of gardening (well I am the Garden State after all), and plus it saves me money instead of wasting it on buying foreign grown produce at the store.
Thanks and yew too. Of course... Elena can turn violent over football... Though she isn't as bad as I am over hockey.
- Ryan
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Post by Timothy James Jones on Aug 2, 2012 14:08:44 GMT -5
Dear Father,
I...wish to apologize(?) for my lack of contact in the past month or so. The commercial corn has begun to silk, and with the odd jobs I do for the local farmers as well as the chores on both my farm as well as...Illinois, I have been quite busy. That is no longer an excuse though, since I have begun contact with everyone... A-Anyway, how have you been, father? Not causing any trouble, have you?
Sincerely, TJ
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Post by Alfred F. Jones on Aug 18, 2012 13:24:52 GMT -5
TEEJ,
It's alright buddy. I know how things go at this time of year... especially well... considering... anyway - How have things been for you? Are you doing alright with the drought and your crops? I've been doing well enough. Had a bit of distraction with the Olympics, but that's not unusual considering the politics and diplomacy issues that find themselves wound through the sports. I don't believe I've been causing any trouble, at least I haven't been yelled at lately so that's a good sign right?
Love, Dad
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