Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or Alice in Wonderland. Only my OCs.
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Chapter 5: The Cheshire, the Hare, and the Hatter
Angelica stopped running for a moment. Her arm was killing her. She looked at it, frowning at the long gashes in her arm.
“It looks like you ran afoul of something with wicked claws, da.” A voice observed, its accent sounding Russian. Angel looked around before seeing the disembodied head of a cat hovering in midair.
“And I’m still dreaming!” she huffed. She wanted to wake up already.
“What did that to you?” the head asked, turning in a circle, eyes never leaving the gashes.
“Banner or Bander…” she was cut off by the head.
“The Bandersnatch? I’d better have a look.” The cat disappeared and then reappeared as a whole next to her. He was a Siberian cat, with dark fur, all calm, with a casual air about him. He inspected the wound before leaning in close to lick it.
“What are you doing?” Angel asked, pulling her arm away.
“It needs to be purified by someone with evaporating skills, or it will fester and putrefy.” He explained calmly, floating around her.
“I’ll be fine as soon as I wake up.” Angel insisted, keeping her arm away from the cat.
“Well then.” he pulled out a handkerchief. “At least let me bind it for you.” Angel, finding nothing wrong with that simple request, let him.
“What do you call yourself?”
“Angelica.”
“The Angelica?” he looked at her in shock.
“Oh no.” She held her hands up. “I’m not getting into that again.” she insisted. The cat sighed.
“I never get involved in politics anyway.” he told her, vanishing and reappearing on a tree branch. “You’d best be on your way, da?”
“What way? All I want to do is wake up from this dream!”
He sighed. “Fine, I’ll take you to the Hare and the Hatter. But that’s the end of it.” He told her, suddenly disappearing. She looked around, only to see him reappear up ahead. “Coming?” Angel ran to catch up with him. After all, there was nothing else for her to do except follow.
***
The windmill was in shatters. The blades were broken, and the walls were falling off. The state of the tea party taking place on the lawn wasn’t much better. It had been going on for years, and as a result, the tea set had cracked and chipped, the tablecloth had become stained and tattered, and the chairs lopsided.
In one of these lopsided chairs, the mad hatter sat; slumped over, dull blue eyes staring into space. His clothes seemed to reflect his gloomy mood, as they were all black and drooped over. Even his hair seemed dulled. His hat was ragged and scorched, as though someone had thrown it into a fire. A few seats down, a man who of Japanese descent, with two large brown rabbit ears, sat, rubbing his hands together nervously, a reflection of his paranoia. The dormouse, who was sitting in a teapot, was wearing the Bandersnatch eye around her waist. She tapped the Hare on his head.
“What? Where? Who’s there?” he asked, shooting up.
The Cat then floated in, Angelica behind him. At the sight of her, the Hatter bolted upright. He brightened, his eyes now shining, and his hair now looking its normal honey-blond color, with that one stubborn strand sticking up. Even his clothes perked up. Transfixed, he moved towards her, walking across the table as that was the shortest route. He knelt down, studying her intently before smiling “It’s you.”
“No it’s not!” The mouse said, climbing out of the pot. “Felicia brought us the wrong Angelica.”
“It’s absolutely Angel. You’re absolutely Angel. I’d know you anywhere.” He smiled back over his shoulder. “I’d know him anywhere.” giggles erupted from the two still at the table.
He took her hand and pulled her back over the top of the table and sat her in the chair next to his. “Well, as you can see we’re still having tea. It’s all because I was obliged to wait for your return. You’re terribly late you know, naughty girl. Well, anyway, time became so offended it stopped altogether. Not a tick ever since.” he rambled.
Angel nodded. “Time can be funny in dreams.” she said, smoothing her dress out a bit.
He waved his hand, dismissing what she had said to be of no important. “Yes, yes, of course. But now you are back, you see, and we need to get on to the Frabjous day. I’m investigating things that begin with the letter M.” he leaned in close at Angel. “Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?” he asked in a whisper before raising his tea cup and turning to the others at the table. “Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid” they said in unison.
Angelica looked at them confused. “Sorry?”
“Down with the Bloody Big Head.” The Cheshire cat said, appearing at the far end of the table. “Bloody Big Head being the Red Queen.” he told her, bored.
“Come, come. We simply must commence with the slaying and such…” He picked up his watch. “Therefore, it’s high time for Time to forgive and forget. Or forget and forgive, whichever comes first. Or, is in any case, most convenient. I’m waiting.”
The Hare tapped his own watch, listened to it, dipped it into his tea, and then listened again. “It’s ticking again!” he shouted.
The cat put his cup down with disgust. “All this talk about blood and slaying has put me off my tea.”
The Hatter looked at the cat. “The entire world is falling to ruin, and poor Ivan’s off his tea.”
“What happened that day was not my fault.”
The Hatter slammed both hands on the table in a sudden rage, sending teapots and cups flying. “You ran out of there to save your own skin!” His voice had changed, his accent now sounding as of from the southern part of the United States, and his look was much darker and madder. “You guddler’s scuttish pilgar lickering…” The Cheshire cat appeared next to Angel, putting his paws over her ears as the man cursed faster, seemingly unable to stop himself. “…Shukem juggling sluking ur-pals. Bar lom muck egg brimni-“
“Alfred!” the dormouse shouted. He jerked, pulling himself back to the moment. “Thank you, I’m fine.”
Ivan removed his paws from Angelica’s ears. “What’s wrong with you Alfred? You used to be the life of the party. Why, you used to do the best Futterwacken in all of Witzend.”
“Flutter what?” Angel looked to the hare and mouse.
“It’s a dance.” the mouse told her.
Alfred gave a small smile. “On the Frabjous day, when the White Queen once again wears the crown, again. On that day, I’ll Futterwacken….vigorously.” The dormouse and hare giggled again, unnoticed by the Hatter and The Cat, who were glaring at eachother like brothers at odds.
Suddenly, the Hare stuck an ear up, listening. “Oh no!” He scrambled to hide behind Ivan, who disappeared.
In the fog, red could be seen, along with the silhouette of a man on a bull. “The knave.” The mouse whispered, almost in shock.
“Hide her!” the Hare shouted, scrambling back to a seat. Alfred pulled a small bottle out of his pocket.
“Drink this quickly.” He said, forcing the bottle to her lips. She coughed, drinking some of the awful potion, before shrinking to about six inches. He picked her up. “Mind your head.” He told her as he stuffed her into a tea pot, shoving her now over large clothes in after her. He closed the lid and put the pot somewhat near him on the table.
Angelica scowled inside the dim pot. “Let me out!” she yelled, hitting the top. She then huffed and sat down. “Bastardo (bastard)” she mumbled, holding her too large dress up.
Outside, the bloodhound led Antonio and four Red Knights to the party.
“Well, if it isn’t my favorite trio of lunatics.” the knave said, dismounting his bull and walking up to them.
“You’re all late for tea!” the Hare cried, throwing a teapot at them. It hit one of the knights in the face.
“We’re looking for the girl called Angelica.” Antonio said, walking around the table, while the bloodhound sniffed underneath it.
“Speaking of the Queen, here’s a song we snag at her soiree.” The hatter said, moving his hands as though he was conducting an orchestra. “Twinkle twinkle little bat! How I wonder where’s you’re at!” the three sang.
Antonio grabbed Alfred around the neck, choking him. “If you’re hiding her, you’ll lose your heads.” He warned.
“Already lost them.” The hatter replied hoarsely. The knave released him. “All together now!”
“Up above the world you fly, like a tea tray in the sky!” They all laughed crazily.
Angelica frowned, attempting to see out of the sprout of the tea cup. It proved not to be best, as what she saw was the nose of the bloodhound. “Merda (shit).” she hissed, backing up against the side of the pot.
Alfred glanced at the hound. Making sure the knave wasn’t watching, he whispered “Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid” The dog stopped, and looked between the hatter and the teacup before dropping to the ground and sniffing, pretending to catch a new trail.
“Follow the bloodhound.” the knave instructed. The knights went off, although Antonio lingered suspiciously. “You’re all mad.” He finally said, turning and heading back to his bull. The three laughed hysterically as the knave left. After a moment, the Hare and mouse stopped laughing, but Alfred went on and on and on….
“Alfred!” the mouse threw a scone at the man. He jerked, dragging himself back from the edge of hysteria.
“I’m fine. Really, I’m fine.” He said, smiling. The mouse just frowned.
He turned his attention Angelica’s teapot, pulling it close and opening it before quickly closing it again. “Sorry.” he said. “One moment.” Without looking, he reached in and pulled out a swatch of her old dress. Using that and a pair of scissors, he somehow made a new dress, small enough for her to wear.
He opened the lid and handed it to her. “They this on for size.” He said before closing the lid again, giving her the privacy she needed to change. In a moment, she knocked on the lid. He opened it and took her out. “Hum…” he studied her. “Sorry it’s not the best I could do I’m afraid. But it doesn’t look half bad. Turn around.” He told her, which she did. “Yes, not half bad at all.”
“It’s a good thing that the bloodhound is one of us or you’d be…” Angel looked at the dormouse in time to see the animal draw her finger across her throat.
“Best take her to Marmoreal! She’ll be safe with the White Queen!” The hare said, before become fixed with the spoon in his hand. “Spoon.” He said, staring at it in fascination.
“Great idea Kiku!” Alfred said, smiling.
“Can she help wake me up?” Angel asked, looking hopeful.
“If she doesn’t put you to sleep.” Alfred took his hat off and put it on the table. “Your carriage, m’ lady.”
“That hat?” Angel looked up at him confused,
“Yep.” He smiled widely. “Anyone can go by horse or rail. But the absolute best way to travel is by hat. Oohh~….” His smile grew. “I’ve just made a rhyme.”
Angelica sat in the hat, nervous and a bit unsure, of both the hat and the hatter. The dormouse sat down also, shoving Angel over.
“Sorry Alice. Just Angelica this time.” He told her. She climbed off, annoyed. Alfred smiled at her before putting the hat on.
“Fairfarren all!” he said, starting off. Angel noticed a bit of jealously in Alice’s eyes.
“But you haven’t had your tea!” Kiku shouted.
Angel heard a “Mind your head.” Come from the man below her. Just in time too, as a teapot was hurled towards them. She ducked, and the object hit a tree, breaking into a million pieces.
~~~
And thus, we've met the mad hatter.
America: *sitting on a spin office chair wearing the top hat* this is fun.
Angel: -.-
Oh, one thing. The part where I describe his accent as becoming more southern is because in the movie when the hatter is having a "moment" his accent becomes more Scottish. So, yeah, Alfred's accent becomes more southern. Make sense? if not, just let me know, and I'll try to explain it better....