Post by Honda Kiku on Dec 27, 2011 14:01:27 GMT -5
Christmas
Honda Kiku sat at the balcony, as usual, watching the snow fall. There, he thought of a time when he spent these days alone with his pets. He thought of a time when his restless mind, portrayed by his restless hands urged to do something to occupy his thoughts from dwelling where he did not wish to dwell. He thought of a time where he folded thousands of paper hearts, all with a single unwished wish. A wish his mind did not make, but one that his heart did. A wish to be alone no longer.
He remembered folding them at night and then finding himself unable to let it go, thus fell asleep with these hearts pressed tightly to his chest until sunrise. Then he would wake the next morning with it all crumpled and crushed. He remembered being frustrated and upset over it, trying to smooth them out but always failing. Once his frustration reached it's peak, he would throw them away and never see them again.
He remembered being asked once, by blue eyes that he adored so deeply where they were and how his answer seemed whimsical and floaty now that he thought about it. He blushed slightly thinking of what could possibly have made him say such odd lines. Still, it seemed.. slightly fitting to say those words. Those words that wanted to be said at that exact moment and at that exact time.
Inwardly he wondered if he was in a story of some sort. A story of wishes and dreams and paper hearts, but that would be too unrealistic to truly believe, though it would make a nice story. Honda Kiku smiled. Perhaps he would write about it some day. Write about it in the exact way it seemed. Nearly magical and mystical, but somehow very real. He would write how himself in three stages. One when he was wishing. One when it was coming true. One when everything was perfect, and his wish had come true. It would be interesting..
His thoughts were cut off when he saw movement to the side of him. The blue eyes he adored and loved so much had joined him.
Guten Tagu, Ludovihi
He said to the other, testing his tongue with the others native language. It sounded odd, even to his ears, but the other had always thought it sounded nice for some reason.
Ohayo Guzaimasu Kiku
The other said in that slightly awkward way of his when he tried to speak a language not his own. Still, Honda Kiku enjoyed it. It was nice. It was sweet. He was trying to learn German and his.. K-Koibito.. was trying to lean Japanese. A cultural exchange, yes, one that should have been rightfully done ages ago, but that neither had wanted to be the first to really broach the subject. They were both shy and restrained themselves.
Already Honda Kiku was slightly more proficient in German, and vice versa for his.. Koi.. with Japanese. Honda Kiku was very happy because of that. Even learning a new word was an exciting and lovely experience. Still, he remembered the first three words that he had thrown to the German man all those years ago.
They were under a tree. In his own garden. It was snowing, but they had wanted to catch a paper heart that had been blown there by the wind. They were not fully human, so they could do so without feeling as cold as ordinary people, but after some time they too felt the effects. Feeling slightly depressed at them not being able to find that lonely paper heart, he had wanted to stop.
Turning to the house, Honda Kiku started to walk back fully intending to prepare some hot drinks for them to warm up when a big gust of wind suddenly swept upwards. They had already made a whole pile of paper hearts, as they did every Christmas since the first one that they had spent together by accident, and as his brown eyes looked at the house, the hearts started to fly.
They flew not downwards or simply to the side as items usually does when winds blow them away. Instead they flew upwards. The wind formed a spiral leading up and too all the hears with it. All save one that his brown eyes spied on the tree branch above his companion. It seemed to call him and he went closer to it. His hand reached out to it slowly, stretching itself so it could reach. Soon he was just touching it and moved to slowly pick it.
So intent was he on that heart, he had not checked the position of his companion. The other was right beside him, seemingly as entranced with that heart as he was. Two people reaching up for one object at the same time. It was bound to happen.
Hands brushed against each other and that made them surprised. Whipping their heads around, blue clashed with brown. They could not move, stuck too deep in each others eyes. It was as if the whole world no longer mattered and that there was nothing but electricity all around them. It was numbing. It was scary. It was shocking and his mind became blank. But is was so wonderful all at the same time.
Hands touching, nearly holding on to each other, eyes staring right at each other, bodies so close and right beside each other, it was all so much. So different from what he would always do or accept, but he did not step away. He did not avoid those eyes. He did not pull his hand away. He did not know how long they stayed like that, but it was a perfect moment. The other was so close to him. That face close and getting closer. He hardly knew what was happening
Just as their lips merely brushed against each other lightly, the clocked chimed. The spell broke and they stepped away blushing. Both were looking anywhere but each other, both beating themselves up for doing such an act. Both feeling frustrated that it did not happened and scolding them for feeling that way. They were shy and cautious, and that was far beyond what they usually could stand.
A very awkward silence started between them. Honda Kiku tried to think of what to say. Something to impress the other. Something that would be good and would make the situation be better. He said the first thing that came to mind. Those three words.
Ich Leibe Dich!
The other must have been stunned. He himself was surprised at what had just happened. Surprised, and very embarrassed. His face was extremely hot and he could feel the blood rush to his head within few scarce seconds. His heart was thumping loudly and he was half surprised that the other could not hear it. His brain scrambled with the feeling of panic to try and make the situation less awkward. Stumbling with his words, he tried to make a sentence to explain himself and his very odd choice of words.
That's-.. I mean-.. I.. Its not.. I was just trying to learn some phrases in the German language and that was the first words I came across! I apologise for making sound so odd and for using it in such a-
Aishiteru.
Brown eyes widened in shock and black hair whipped around with the force of the turn to look straight into blue eyes. Those eyes were serious. There was a beautiful blush on the cheeks of his face, and he could see the embarrassment and fear and hope in those features. Still, in those gorgeous blue eyes he could see a steely determination for the event that had happened.
Brown eyes looked away. How could they stand such intensity? They looked at the floor, at his shoes, everywhere else while hands fiddled with his sleeves. He was extremely shocked and he did not know what to think at all. Was this real? Was this fake? Was this all a big misunderstanding? He could not decide which scenario to follow. His mind was saying it was all a trick, but his heart was saying otherwise.
Herr Honda I know you may not believe me but-
Kiku.
By then his face was bright red with embarrassment. The other.. the other would not play with him like that.. would he.?No.. He trusted those blue eyes. He trusted the owner. He had already done so much to win his trust and more. It had to be real right? After all, he did concede that it was not truly believable, giving him some breathing space in case he wanted to reject it..
But if that was the case.. he would never accept being called so formally. No. If this was true, then the names would be the first names. It.. it was protocol after all right..?
Kiku.. If what you seem to be telling me is true.. then you should call me by my name..
Shy brown eyes looked up to blue in an unsure, hesitant, anxious but determined glance. The other would know that he was being serious. As expected and hoped, the other responded.
If so you should call me with my name. Ludwig.
...
..L..Ludo..vihi... then..?
Those brown eyes were still unsure and hesitant, but looking at the blue, his attempt was rewarded with a smile that made his heart glow with warmth.
Yes? Did you call me..? ... Kiku..?
His only answer was a blush. Ludovihi it is then.
From there, the relationship flourished. Every year, his holidays were no longer spent alone. No. They were spent together. Sometimes at his house. Sometimes at his koi's house. Sometimes they would attend parties for the nations, but they went together. It was not as obvious as other peoples relationships, but they both knew it and it was enough. He never liked to display his personal life to everybody.
Of course, somehow word had spread but beside some people bugging him about it, their relationship did not change. The others soon learned to respect that and always made it so that the two of them were seated together, even though none of them complained about sitting apart. Soon everybody just let them be together in their way. They expected no public touches nor any public affection, but with the manner they carried themselves around each other itself, everybody knew they they were each others and simply observed.
Leibling? What are you thinking about?
A smooth deep baritone voice asked, coaxing him out of his path of memories and back to the present. His mind had really wondered far. Beside him, he suddenly noticed that there was a cup of tea, still warm. Did he..?
You should drink that before it gets cold. You must have been very deep in your thoughts to not notice it's scent.
Honda Kiku blushed at that. We was indeed very caught up remembering the past events. Taking a sip, he felt warmer immediately. It was the exact way that he liked it. He looked at his German other and was answered with a small kind and beautiful smile. He smiled in return and placed the cup back at it's place as before.
I was remembering how it was in the past.. All those past Christmases and all the changes that one Christmas brought us.
Blue eyes of his partner looked at him and back at the peaceful and serene garden. His partner nodded in understanding and motioned for him to continue. He did.
We are a lot closer now.
That was from the distance of their hearts and emotions, to how well they communicated now from then, to how well the worked together and thus grew more on each other, to even how near they sat to each other when compared to in the past. They really were much, much closer now. Honda Kiku was extremely grateful for that. He shifted a bit and shyly laid his head on the others shoulder. The other, in shock, tensed slightly before relaxing again.
The both of them were still very unused to being in a relationship and such simple gestures surprised them still. Both of them were blushing very much, but both of them enjoyed it very much as well. It was nice. It.. it was as if it was perfect. Of course, no relationship was perfect. There would always be miscommunications and fights and other problems, but still, Honda Kiku would not have it any other way. He was happy. He was extremely grateful. He thanked whatever force managed to make his unwished wish come true with all his heart.
Suddenly his eyes spied something in the snow. It was white. It was on the tree branch. It was a miracle that he even saw it in the snow. Squinting, he managed to make out what seemed to be a paper heart. But couldnt be yes? What would a paper heart be doing there, under the tree where they had confessed? Why did he see it now, in the snow instead of when the tree had grown leaves and flowers and it would have been more visible?
Before he could say anything, a gust of wind blew and swept it up into the sky.
Did..
.. I did..
It was not a trick.. Or if it was a trick, it had tricked them both.
A paper heart.. Blown away by the wind.. Where would it go..? An answer filtered through his mind, light as wind, softer than a whisper yet stronger them metal and as concrete as stone.
Who knows where the paper hearts are are? They could have been incinerated.. or perhaps some children somewhere picked them up to give them homes. Perhaps they are having an adventure like the toy soldier that did not have a leg Perhaps they could be where all the paper hearts would be. Perhaps they are dancing a dance of wishes that were not wished.
But would they remember the hands that folded them? Would they remember the hands that gripped them so tightly as they dreamed? Would they remember the heart they were pressed against so tightly? Would they be strong enough to remember a wish that was not wished?
Perhaps they do. Perhaps they would grant that wish.
Japan looked at his love, and saw a puzzled expression on his face. Perhaps those words had pass through to him as well? Either way, Japan smiled.
Perhaps they would grant that wish. He said, following the words, but he added his own line. Perhaps they already have.
The two loves smiled at each other in the comfortable silence and simply watched the snow fall. All that mattered then, was each other.
In his mind, Honda Kiku returned his thoughts to writing his experience down. He might. It would be good enough story to tell after all. But how would he start? He would start with simple lines. Something to explain the story, but something to give some warning of the content. Something nice, something simple. Something that would make it interesting to be read.. A small prologue to everything.. It would start with this:
This is not a Christmas story of a little match stick girl working until angels came to her and brought her to heaven due to her goodness of heart. This is not a Christmas story of a Grinch that disliked cheer but later on decided that he did enjoy it once he learnt how special it all was. This is not a story that teaches lessons. This is not a story that people rely on to explain about Christmas.
A story of folded paper hearts and wishes that were not wished.
A story that may be real. A story that may not be real at all.
A story that you may relate to. A story that you may not relate to.
A story that simply wants to be told.
It is merely a story of Honda Kiku.
Honda Kiku sat at the balcony, as usual, watching the snow fall. There, he thought of a time when he spent these days alone with his pets. He thought of a time when his restless mind, portrayed by his restless hands urged to do something to occupy his thoughts from dwelling where he did not wish to dwell. He thought of a time where he folded thousands of paper hearts, all with a single unwished wish. A wish his mind did not make, but one that his heart did. A wish to be alone no longer.
He remembered folding them at night and then finding himself unable to let it go, thus fell asleep with these hearts pressed tightly to his chest until sunrise. Then he would wake the next morning with it all crumpled and crushed. He remembered being frustrated and upset over it, trying to smooth them out but always failing. Once his frustration reached it's peak, he would throw them away and never see them again.
He remembered being asked once, by blue eyes that he adored so deeply where they were and how his answer seemed whimsical and floaty now that he thought about it. He blushed slightly thinking of what could possibly have made him say such odd lines. Still, it seemed.. slightly fitting to say those words. Those words that wanted to be said at that exact moment and at that exact time.
Inwardly he wondered if he was in a story of some sort. A story of wishes and dreams and paper hearts, but that would be too unrealistic to truly believe, though it would make a nice story. Honda Kiku smiled. Perhaps he would write about it some day. Write about it in the exact way it seemed. Nearly magical and mystical, but somehow very real. He would write how himself in three stages. One when he was wishing. One when it was coming true. One when everything was perfect, and his wish had come true. It would be interesting..
His thoughts were cut off when he saw movement to the side of him. The blue eyes he adored and loved so much had joined him.
Guten Tagu, Ludovihi
He said to the other, testing his tongue with the others native language. It sounded odd, even to his ears, but the other had always thought it sounded nice for some reason.
Ohayo Guzaimasu Kiku
The other said in that slightly awkward way of his when he tried to speak a language not his own. Still, Honda Kiku enjoyed it. It was nice. It was sweet. He was trying to learn German and his.. K-Koibito.. was trying to lean Japanese. A cultural exchange, yes, one that should have been rightfully done ages ago, but that neither had wanted to be the first to really broach the subject. They were both shy and restrained themselves.
Already Honda Kiku was slightly more proficient in German, and vice versa for his.. Koi.. with Japanese. Honda Kiku was very happy because of that. Even learning a new word was an exciting and lovely experience. Still, he remembered the first three words that he had thrown to the German man all those years ago.
They were under a tree. In his own garden. It was snowing, but they had wanted to catch a paper heart that had been blown there by the wind. They were not fully human, so they could do so without feeling as cold as ordinary people, but after some time they too felt the effects. Feeling slightly depressed at them not being able to find that lonely paper heart, he had wanted to stop.
Turning to the house, Honda Kiku started to walk back fully intending to prepare some hot drinks for them to warm up when a big gust of wind suddenly swept upwards. They had already made a whole pile of paper hearts, as they did every Christmas since the first one that they had spent together by accident, and as his brown eyes looked at the house, the hearts started to fly.
They flew not downwards or simply to the side as items usually does when winds blow them away. Instead they flew upwards. The wind formed a spiral leading up and too all the hears with it. All save one that his brown eyes spied on the tree branch above his companion. It seemed to call him and he went closer to it. His hand reached out to it slowly, stretching itself so it could reach. Soon he was just touching it and moved to slowly pick it.
So intent was he on that heart, he had not checked the position of his companion. The other was right beside him, seemingly as entranced with that heart as he was. Two people reaching up for one object at the same time. It was bound to happen.
Hands brushed against each other and that made them surprised. Whipping their heads around, blue clashed with brown. They could not move, stuck too deep in each others eyes. It was as if the whole world no longer mattered and that there was nothing but electricity all around them. It was numbing. It was scary. It was shocking and his mind became blank. But is was so wonderful all at the same time.
Hands touching, nearly holding on to each other, eyes staring right at each other, bodies so close and right beside each other, it was all so much. So different from what he would always do or accept, but he did not step away. He did not avoid those eyes. He did not pull his hand away. He did not know how long they stayed like that, but it was a perfect moment. The other was so close to him. That face close and getting closer. He hardly knew what was happening
Just as their lips merely brushed against each other lightly, the clocked chimed. The spell broke and they stepped away blushing. Both were looking anywhere but each other, both beating themselves up for doing such an act. Both feeling frustrated that it did not happened and scolding them for feeling that way. They were shy and cautious, and that was far beyond what they usually could stand.
A very awkward silence started between them. Honda Kiku tried to think of what to say. Something to impress the other. Something that would be good and would make the situation be better. He said the first thing that came to mind. Those three words.
Ich Leibe Dich!
The other must have been stunned. He himself was surprised at what had just happened. Surprised, and very embarrassed. His face was extremely hot and he could feel the blood rush to his head within few scarce seconds. His heart was thumping loudly and he was half surprised that the other could not hear it. His brain scrambled with the feeling of panic to try and make the situation less awkward. Stumbling with his words, he tried to make a sentence to explain himself and his very odd choice of words.
That's-.. I mean-.. I.. Its not.. I was just trying to learn some phrases in the German language and that was the first words I came across! I apologise for making sound so odd and for using it in such a-
Aishiteru.
Brown eyes widened in shock and black hair whipped around with the force of the turn to look straight into blue eyes. Those eyes were serious. There was a beautiful blush on the cheeks of his face, and he could see the embarrassment and fear and hope in those features. Still, in those gorgeous blue eyes he could see a steely determination for the event that had happened.
Brown eyes looked away. How could they stand such intensity? They looked at the floor, at his shoes, everywhere else while hands fiddled with his sleeves. He was extremely shocked and he did not know what to think at all. Was this real? Was this fake? Was this all a big misunderstanding? He could not decide which scenario to follow. His mind was saying it was all a trick, but his heart was saying otherwise.
Herr Honda I know you may not believe me but-
Kiku.
By then his face was bright red with embarrassment. The other.. the other would not play with him like that.. would he.?No.. He trusted those blue eyes. He trusted the owner. He had already done so much to win his trust and more. It had to be real right? After all, he did concede that it was not truly believable, giving him some breathing space in case he wanted to reject it..
But if that was the case.. he would never accept being called so formally. No. If this was true, then the names would be the first names. It.. it was protocol after all right..?
Kiku.. If what you seem to be telling me is true.. then you should call me by my name..
Shy brown eyes looked up to blue in an unsure, hesitant, anxious but determined glance. The other would know that he was being serious. As expected and hoped, the other responded.
If so you should call me with my name. Ludwig.
...
..L..Ludo..vihi... then..?
Those brown eyes were still unsure and hesitant, but looking at the blue, his attempt was rewarded with a smile that made his heart glow with warmth.
Yes? Did you call me..? ... Kiku..?
His only answer was a blush. Ludovihi it is then.
From there, the relationship flourished. Every year, his holidays were no longer spent alone. No. They were spent together. Sometimes at his house. Sometimes at his koi's house. Sometimes they would attend parties for the nations, but they went together. It was not as obvious as other peoples relationships, but they both knew it and it was enough. He never liked to display his personal life to everybody.
Of course, somehow word had spread but beside some people bugging him about it, their relationship did not change. The others soon learned to respect that and always made it so that the two of them were seated together, even though none of them complained about sitting apart. Soon everybody just let them be together in their way. They expected no public touches nor any public affection, but with the manner they carried themselves around each other itself, everybody knew they they were each others and simply observed.
Leibling? What are you thinking about?
A smooth deep baritone voice asked, coaxing him out of his path of memories and back to the present. His mind had really wondered far. Beside him, he suddenly noticed that there was a cup of tea, still warm. Did he..?
You should drink that before it gets cold. You must have been very deep in your thoughts to not notice it's scent.
Honda Kiku blushed at that. We was indeed very caught up remembering the past events. Taking a sip, he felt warmer immediately. It was the exact way that he liked it. He looked at his German other and was answered with a small kind and beautiful smile. He smiled in return and placed the cup back at it's place as before.
I was remembering how it was in the past.. All those past Christmases and all the changes that one Christmas brought us.
Blue eyes of his partner looked at him and back at the peaceful and serene garden. His partner nodded in understanding and motioned for him to continue. He did.
We are a lot closer now.
That was from the distance of their hearts and emotions, to how well they communicated now from then, to how well the worked together and thus grew more on each other, to even how near they sat to each other when compared to in the past. They really were much, much closer now. Honda Kiku was extremely grateful for that. He shifted a bit and shyly laid his head on the others shoulder. The other, in shock, tensed slightly before relaxing again.
The both of them were still very unused to being in a relationship and such simple gestures surprised them still. Both of them were blushing very much, but both of them enjoyed it very much as well. It was nice. It.. it was as if it was perfect. Of course, no relationship was perfect. There would always be miscommunications and fights and other problems, but still, Honda Kiku would not have it any other way. He was happy. He was extremely grateful. He thanked whatever force managed to make his unwished wish come true with all his heart.
Suddenly his eyes spied something in the snow. It was white. It was on the tree branch. It was a miracle that he even saw it in the snow. Squinting, he managed to make out what seemed to be a paper heart. But couldnt be yes? What would a paper heart be doing there, under the tree where they had confessed? Why did he see it now, in the snow instead of when the tree had grown leaves and flowers and it would have been more visible?
Before he could say anything, a gust of wind blew and swept it up into the sky.
Did..
.. I did..
It was not a trick.. Or if it was a trick, it had tricked them both.
A paper heart.. Blown away by the wind.. Where would it go..? An answer filtered through his mind, light as wind, softer than a whisper yet stronger them metal and as concrete as stone.
Who knows where the paper hearts are are? They could have been incinerated.. or perhaps some children somewhere picked them up to give them homes. Perhaps they are having an adventure like the toy soldier that did not have a leg Perhaps they could be where all the paper hearts would be. Perhaps they are dancing a dance of wishes that were not wished.
But would they remember the hands that folded them? Would they remember the hands that gripped them so tightly as they dreamed? Would they remember the heart they were pressed against so tightly? Would they be strong enough to remember a wish that was not wished?
Perhaps they do. Perhaps they would grant that wish.
Japan looked at his love, and saw a puzzled expression on his face. Perhaps those words had pass through to him as well? Either way, Japan smiled.
Perhaps they would grant that wish. He said, following the words, but he added his own line. Perhaps they already have.
The two loves smiled at each other in the comfortable silence and simply watched the snow fall. All that mattered then, was each other.
In his mind, Honda Kiku returned his thoughts to writing his experience down. He might. It would be good enough story to tell after all. But how would he start? He would start with simple lines. Something to explain the story, but something to give some warning of the content. Something nice, something simple. Something that would make it interesting to be read.. A small prologue to everything.. It would start with this:
This is not a Christmas story of a little match stick girl working until angels came to her and brought her to heaven due to her goodness of heart. This is not a Christmas story of a Grinch that disliked cheer but later on decided that he did enjoy it once he learnt how special it all was. This is not a story that teaches lessons. This is not a story that people rely on to explain about Christmas.
A story of folded paper hearts and wishes that were not wished.
A story that may be real. A story that may not be real at all.
A story that you may relate to. A story that you may not relate to.
A story that simply wants to be told.
It is merely a story of Honda Kiku.
