Post by Carina Jones on Feb 7, 2012 11:42:27 GMT -5
Apparently this story is still under construction more than I expected. Please pardon our appearance.
~Here there be crazy~
Nerds for Prussia ~ AKA The Molestation of Vinci
Awesome Epic Magnifique~ Part the First. May be continued…
AN: This particular Prussia & Feliciano are Property of Reed. Vinci & Lorenzo are property of Weaver. Head!France is mine, but he’s all Reed’s fault. Taken from the OOC insanity and worked into story format by Me -Kitty, KitKat, (sometimes Shinju). You can also see whiteboard thread for more Vinci & France fun.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. Or characters listed as not mine above. All I own are Head!France, Carina, Kentucky, and this here bucket of hyper Crazy that keeps refilling.
It all started with two simple statements that were posted to the Nations Message Board.
Texweav: “Hey, Nerds are Awesome so Nerds are Prussian!”
ColoKit: “NERDS FOR PRUSSIA!”
That was when Gilbert made his decision. He was claiming all nerds in the name of Prussia, starting with that Italian one… what was the dudes name again? Vinci or something right. Kesesese~
However perhaps an announcement on the board that: “VINCI IS PROPERTY OF ZE AWESOME PRUSSIA!” - was not the best way to go about his claim. All that got him was a two hour argument with the dude’s sister saying that he was Sicilian. Pft. Really? He was far more awesome so of course the awesome nerd was Prussian. Just like Shakespeare. Tomorrow…. Tomorrow he would go to the meeting of all the personifications and claim him in person where his awesome would be UNQUESTIONABLE!
Not that that’s how it went… at all.
As soon as he made his announcement – which he did outside the building at the end of the meeting - other Italians decided to rain on his awesome parade and say that Vinci was theirs…
Well fine. If that’s how they wanted it.
“Weeeeeell, technically Vinci belongs to you by 1/3.” He said with a wide grin, “So you do technically have him~ BUT ALL HIS AWESOME ARE BELONG TO PRUSSIA~ Kesesesesesesesesese~”
He got a few eye rolls at that and Vinci was muttering things that were not awesome enough for them to be repeated by his awesome self, but no one really denied it. SO HIS CLAIM WAS ESTABLISHED!
He threw an arm around the Nerd’s shoulders.
“Aw, c'mon! Being Prussian is awesome! Besides, it should be flattering to be fought over so much~ Kesesesese~”
“Vinci’s awesomer so he’s getting cheated by being owned by Prussia.” Muttered one of the less awesome people still lingering around trying to bring down his awesome.
“Pft~ Vinici is not more awsomer than mien awesome self, the source of all the Welt's Awesome, even if he is close to being equal.” Gilbert said rolling his eyes. Crazy non-awesome people who wouldn’t know awesome if it hit them in the face with Hungary’s frying pan.
“I shouldn’t have to settle for less for places that don’t exist anymore.” The nerd said quietly, finally speaking out for himself. Gilbert would have been happy to see the backbone if he weren’t so offended.
“HEY! East Germany does exist and a lot of those people still call themselves Prussian so you can suck on that!” Gilbert said smirking superiorly.
He didn’t notice the snickers as most of the nations cleared away, leaving only himself, Vinci, Lorenzo, Feliciano, and France standing in the parking lot. Normally Toni would have been there as well but the Spaniard hadn’t been around much lately.
Vinci smirked, slightly more confident now with fewer onlookers. “You should consult history books before trying to argue.”
The albino shrugged. “I’m far too awesome for history books. Besides, no matter what you say now you never denied it! You have agreed to be Prussian! Kesesese~. There’s no getting out of it no matter what pretty words you want to use!”
Vinci became very quiet after that with a slightly fearful expression on his face. He swallowed nervously. What was Prussia planning on doing to him now anyway? He didn’t realize it, but he apparently asked that question out loud.
“Pft~ Do to you? Mien awesome self is not going to be doing anything to you.” Gilbert said with a shrug. “All things that are awesome belong to mien awesome self because I am ze source of all AWESOME. Already I have claimed Van Gogh, Shakespeare, James Joyce, and now Da Vinci. Kesesese~. Now I have ze most awesome bragging rights and I get to hang out with smart artistical people!”
“Ve~ Gilbert just wants friend but this is the only way he knows how~.” Feliciano said snickering a little.
Gilbert pulled the little Italian to him and gave him a noogie.
“QUIET! YOU KNOW NOTHING OF MIEN AWESOME NOTH-”
He was cut off by a quiet. “Va, if he wanted to be friends he should have just asked.” The look on Vinci’s face was one of intense interest in the situation.
Gilbert turned red and started spluttering, “NEIN! I AM TOO AWESOME FOR ‘FRIENDS’! YOU ARE PRUSSIAN TERRITORY!”
“Well aren’t you too awesome then if you’re too awesome to have friend?” Vinci asked calmly with a slightly saddened smile.
Gilbert stopped his ranting and looked over at the Italian nerd in confusion. “Was? I demand you explain this potentially not so awesome logic!”
“Well, obviously if you're too awesome then everyone else will get bored because they have no chance to be as awesome as you. So they find no fun or awesomeness in being with you because you're just too great. And being awesome is irrelevant if you have no one to share and gloat it with, si? So technically by becoming to awesome you cancel out your own awesomeness and thus become lame and have no friends.” Vinci calmly explained to Gilbert.
For a full minute Prussia stood there in silence gaping like a fish. Then once he closed his mouth he started to think about it.
“Va…. I can explain better if you need me to.” Vinci offered wondering if the albino was confused.
“Nein, Nein… Ze Awesome Prussia is not confused, the awesome Prussia is THINKING.”
In all honestly Gilbert was wondering, “… are friends worth being 'less awesome' than mein potential to be?” The quiet question slipped out of his mouth; obviously he wasn’t used to thinking with his inside his head voice.
“Mon ami~ Surely you would not turn down our friendship. Ohonhonhonhon~” Francis said with a wink. He hoped to cheer his buddy up and to ensure that the BTT wasn’t going to be split up because that would be very not magnificent.
“You know, if you're looking to stand out you could also classify yourself as being unawesome, or something different. People would most likely still acknowledge you for being different and like you anyway.” Vinci muttered, obviously still thinking his own nerdy thoughts.
Prussia was horrified at the very thought. “Give up the Awesome?! NEVAH!!!” He ran dramatically over to Francis and glomped him “But Mein Freund, you and Toni are my friends even when I'm at my most awesome! This is a different idea the brainiac's offerin' up! I need to think real hard on it, but after some booze first!!” For a moment he looked around for Toni to go out drinking with his awesome self and Francis, however Toni was nowhere to be found.
“Ohonhonhon~ Mon ami~” Francis grinned hugging Gilbert back and kissing him on both cheeks dramatically. “I am so 'appy to know zat you would not end our ~special~ friendship over what some nerd 'ad to say. Even eef he eez an 'awsome' nerd.” He skipped dramatically over to where he had put down his bottle of excellent red wine in anticipation of the fact that he might need it.
“Oi, Nerds for Prussia! No mockin' or you're mockin' ze almightily Awesome Gilbert!” Gilbert said, following Francis and grinning dramatically. “But nah, it was odd advice. People will accept my awesomeness or they aren't worth it! Zat's why you and Toni are so freaking awesome too! Well, that and you're pretty sexy~” Gilbert finished his awesome statement off with a dramatic wink.
“Ohonhonhon~ My sincerest apologies mon ami~ I did not mean to insult your awesome. All ze best people are awesome and Sexy people~ Alzough, You, moi, and Toni are ze best and most sexy of zem all.” Francis said, winking and dramatically blowing an air kiss at Gilbert.
It was just then that Feliciano decided to speak up from where he was still hanging around, Lorenzo’s watchful eye following the other Italians with the intent to protect them from the perversion incarnate in Francis and Gilbert.
“Ve, what about me, Fratellone Francis?” The smiling brunette asked.
“Kesesesesese, I dunno, we'd better ask Toni and get a group consensus, Feli~” Gilbert said, giving Francis another dramatic wink.
Francis returned Prussia’s wink dramatically. “Ohonhonhon~”
He sashayed over to Feliciano and kissed him dramatically.
“Of course you are tres magnifique Feliciano, mon chere. But zere eez only room for treis most awesome sexy people in zis world. And it is ze tragedy of myself and Toni and Gilbert to be ze treis at ze top of zis~” He said, placing one hand over his heart, his expression that of someone declaring themselves some sort of saint or martyr for taking such a position.
Then Francis looked around in slight confusion. “Where eez our lovely~ Toni anyway? I am finding myself so lonely and we are incomplete without him mon ami~” He directed his question to Prussia.
Off on the sidelines Vinci was still standing around awkwardly, wondering if he had been forgotten. He felt a little upset for some reason that they were already pushing him to the side.
“Kesesesesesese~” Gilbert dramatically claped Feliciano on the back, “Don't worry, Süßer~ You're number vier! We'd totally let you in, but ze triangle is ze most awesome shape in ze universe for a reason~ But we have no problem with you joining us from time to time, ja, Francis?” He finished with an awesome dramatic smirk.
“Toni?” The albino scratched the back of his head thinking, “Dunno, ze awesome Me hasn't seen him for a while... he's probably off havin' fun without us!”
“Oui~ I 'ave no problem with mon chere Feliciano joining sometimes.” The Frenchman replied with a wink and a leer before he heard Gilberts answer about Toni. “Mon dieu~!” He cried out in dramatic distress, his hand to his forehead, “'Ow could 'e 'ave fun wizout us?!”
Of course somewhere in the line of these antics he noticed the little nerd on the sidelines and started smirking again. He suddenly dashed over and kissed Vinci on both cheeks.
“Oh~ Ze little nerd should not be left lonely~ Ohonhonhon~ Per'aps he eez needing some special loving from ze King of L'amour~” At the end of his statement France gave some dramatically pronounced eyebrow wiggling.
The Italian simply gave the Frenchman a look of complete incomprehension. “What? How do you mean?”
Lorenzo stood off to the side with a dark look. Why did Vinci have to be so Naïve…?
“Kesesesesese~” Gilbert grabbed Feliciano and dramatically dragged him over to where the Frenchman and Vinci were standing, patting Vinci on the back. “C'mon, stop sulkin'~ You're a Prussian, show some awesome self-esteem! Besides, you got Feli here to bond with! We'd gladly show you two a good time~~” Prussia said with more overly pronounced dramatic eyebrow wiggling.
“Um... okay?” Vinci said, sounding unsure and looking over at Feliciano “Feli's still breathing, right?”
“Ohonhonhon~ Oui~! Per'aps we can all four share some ~special~ time together. “Francis said with a smirk, “And we can do XXX and XXX.” He leered at Vinci - again with the eyebrow waggling dramatically.
“Ve? I'm fine~” Feliciano answered Vinci with a grin. “It's nice to see you again, Mr. da Vinci! I didn't know you were Prussian too! And don't worry, we all know what we're doing~” Feliciano finished with a dramatic purr.
" Kesesesesesese~ See? All's fine~ Let's show Toni we can have fun without him!” Gilbert exclaimed grinning widely.
Meanwhile Vinci was standing stock still in shock blushing and stuttering inarticulately.
Lorenzo was about ready to kill them; Vinci was delicate and should not be broken…
“Oui~ Oui~” Francis said, not even noticing the dark aura from the spot where Lorenzo was still standing silently. He dramatically started groping any part of Gilbert, Feliciano, and Vinci that he could reach. “We shall show 'im zat we can 'ave an amazing time wizou 'im too~ Right mes amis~?” He grinned devilishly before suddenly giving Vinci a long dramatic kiss on the lips while groping him excessively, knocking the glasses off of his face.
Vinci panicked struggling to pull away, his eyes wide and his arms flailing. He was blushing horribly and was startled with no idea what was going on.
France finally came up for air with a big grin and continued groping Vinci. “Zat was magnifique, Oui~? Do you need some ~love~ as well?” He threw a wink over at the other two. “Do not hesitate to ask~ Ze King of l'Amour is 'appy to share ze love~ Ohonhonhonhon~”
Vinci was gasping trying to get his air back after the sudden kiss. “That... that... was not what I expected.... Please stop...” He whimpered attempting to cover his blush.
“But why should I stop my little nerd~” Francis purred, his attention back on the other Italian, “When you 'ave such a delectable body~” He leered, “Eezen't 'e delicious~ Gilbert~ Ohonhonhon~”
“V-Ve?” Feliciano was feeling rather uncomfortable about the wandering hands and being trapped between the three of them. “M-Maybe we should go slow, before he freaks out, si?” He asked. He really didn’t want to get killed by his Zoni.
“kesesese, where's ze fun in zat, Feli?” Gilbert said snickering.
“Oui~ Zere eez no fun in zat~” Francis said, pouting dramatically before he couldn’t hold it anymore, leering and groping Felciano and Gilbert again, at the same time somehow never releasing Vinci. “Ohonhonhonhon~”
“F-Francis! Stop groping people!” Vinci begged -however there wasn’t enough power behind it to stop someone like France…
Feliciano squeaked before shying away and getting between Prussia, France, and Vinci. “Ve, it's more fun when they go slow,” He said, adding to Vinci in a whisper, “you should run now~” He winked at Vinci before groping France back.
Vinci remained there staring wide eyed, “FELI! What happened to you?!” He asked appalled.
Francis, of course, was distracted by Feliciano’s groping. “Ohonhonhon~ Zat eez more like it~” He turned to Vinci with a grin, “You could learn a zing or two from zat one~” He said before groping everyone around him once again.
“I'm not touching you!” Vinci shouted flailing and attempting to get away.
Feliciano sighed, muttering to the other Italian quietly, “Ve, distraction means run, Vinci!” Then he turned to France, “Ve, I learned from ze best~” He said with a dramatic wink.
“Oi, what about the awesome me, huh? Just chopped liver?” Gilbert complained dramatically trapping Feli between France and himself.
“Oh~ mon chere~ Zere eez no need to be scared~ Just accept l'amour and you will be 'appy and satise-fied before you know eet~” Francis said, hugging Vinci close to him. The reactions from this Italian were just adorable~.
“Ohonhonhon~ Of course you did~” Francis said winking dramatically at Feliciano. “‘Ow could you be shopped livar~ When you are ze spice zat makes zis so nice~ Gilbert, mon ami~” He said, planting a kiss on the albino’s cheek.
Vinci let out a “GAK” noise as he was squeezed and Lorenzo had finally had enough. He marched over to them and away from the wall glaring. “What happened here?”
Francis smiled at him beatifically, “We are just spreading L'amour~ mon ami~” He seemed totally oblivious to the deadly glare on the other man’s face.
“Of course you are.” Lorenzo growled looking ready to knife someone as he watched Vinci and Feliciano held in the grasp of the two perverts.
“V-Ve, ciao, Zoni~” Feliciano said, with a short wave while trying to keep Gilbert's hands out of his shirt.
“Brother...” Vinci sounded slightly afraid, but was trying to keep his pride.
Lorenzo gave Francis and Gilbert a dark look. “.... Francis, Gilbert, I will give you five seconds to run as far as you can. And then I will kill you.”
Francis sashayed up to Lorenzo dramatically dragging Vinci with him. He was apparently oblivious to the danger in which he was putting his life. “Mon Ami~ You look like you could use some of l'amour yourself ~” He said with a wink.
Lorenzo stood there stoically. “Five….”
Francis pouted. “You are no fun~” He smirked groping Vinci before throwing him over his shoulder and shouting “FIVE FINGER SURPRISE AWAY~ OHONHONHONHONHON~”
Lorenzo kept counting. “Four….”
Francis was running at about half pace, waiting for Prussia to join him.
“Oi! Don’t leave without us!!” Gilbert shouted, slinging Feliciano over his shoulder and racing after Francis.
“Ve, cio, Zoni~” Feliciano said, waving at Lorenzo as he was dragged away.
Obviously the Florentine was losing his patience as he counted down, “Three… two… one…” And then suddenly he was chasing them wielding his knives.
“My apologies, mon ami~.” Francis said, slowing for a moment, “I never meant to forget you~” He said as Gilbert caught up and they fell into stride together. “So~ My place or yours~ Ohonhonhon~” France asked, ignoring the potential of the answer being the morgue, and therefore neither.
“Thinking with that awesome dick of yours all the time is going to get you killed, Francis~” Gilbert said with a dramatic cackle. “Your place, Luddi's probably at mine and I don't wanna get cockblocked again~”
“But where is ze fun when not thinking with L'Amore~” Francis said with a wink, “I ‘ave survived so far, non?” Then he grinned happily. “Zen we go to la palace de l'amore~ Ohonhonhon~!” It was probably closer to his place anyway.
Thunks were heard as Lorenzo threw his daggers so they hit right in between where France and Prussia's legs were causing the two to jump slightly and speed up.
“Let me go!” Vinci shouted, fits pounding against Francis’s back.
“Ohonhonhon~” Francis laughed jumping into his car and tossing Vinci into the back seat. The child locks – set for just such an occasion – would prevent the captive from escaping so easily. “Let's go mon ami~” He beckoned Prussia, with his burden of northern Italian man to hurry into the car, which he did. Plopping the other Italian onto his lap on the passenger seat while France got the car into gear.
“Ve, no use struggling, Vinci. “ Feliciano said with a dramatic shrug, looking at the other desperately trying to open the back doors or windows. “You're not getting away unless Zoni catches them or you manage to get out once we reach Fratellone Francis's~” Feliciano grinned a dramatically optimistic grin. “Don't worry, I'll do my best to keep them from doing too much to you~”
Just as Francis was nearly out of the lot Lorenzo popped the car tire with another dagger throw.
“Ohonhonho-“Francis’s laughter cut off abruptly as he lost control of the car. “MERD! Gilbert, mon ami...” He gulped dramatically looking at the other to his right. “Do you 'ave anozer car or are we going to die 'ere?”
Gilbert thought fast. “Just leave the nerd to the Italian, he's Prussian territory now so we'll get him eventually~” He said with a grin, grabbing both Feliciano and Francis before dramatically racing out of the car and off again.
France sniffled and waved dramatically at the Italian still trapped in the back seat. “Farewell until we meet again oh sweet and most delectable~ nerd~” He cried as he ran.
Lorenzo stalked over to the stopped car and stood outside it. “Let's make this quick and easy, shall we?” He had not yet noticed the three fleeing figures and he had a dark aura to him. He yanked open one of the doors only to find a dazed Vinci the only one left in the car.
“What just happened.....?” Vinci asked. Lorenzo said nothing, frowning as he helped the other Italian out of the car, quickly catching the trail of the fleeing perverts who still had Feliciano. Mostly because of the shout from Prussia really…
“Ve'll be back!!” Gilbert shouted cackling dramatically while racing towards France's house. “Oi, you wanna carry Feli for a bit, Francis? He's a bit too calm, if y'know what I mean~”
Lorenzo took out his gun, loading it and aiming it at the fleeing nations. They weren’t far enough to be safe from him yet.
France grinned over at Prussia, happily and dramatically shouting an enthusiastic “Oui~!” Before taking Feliciano from the albino and beginning to grope him again. “Ohonhonhon~ Ze trois of us shall share and spread much l'amour~!”
Lorenzo fired, the shot shaving off some of the Frenchman’s luxurious blond locks. “Cazzo. I missed.” He growled, reloading the weapon.
Francis Yelped and then sobbed dramatically feeling the loss of his hair. “MY 'AIR! 'OW COULD 'E! MY Bea~utiful 'AIR!” He started speeding up and running in a zig zag pattern in an attempt to avoid any more bullets.
Vene let out an “eep” and clung to Francis, trying to avoid Zoni’s bullets. “V-Ve, he's shooting at you~~ I-If you aren't letting me go then run faster!!” He pleaded.
Lorenzo frowned, pulling out more daggers and running after them.
“Feliciano~ Mon chere~ I would never let you go~ Ohonhonhon~ Now,” Francis started very pleasantly, “Please tell your crazy friend zat you want to come with big brozer Francis~ So 'e'll stop SHOOTING AT MOI!” He finished at a shout, running faster. “We are - nearly ‘ome.” He huffed out.
Vinci was running after Lorenzo and the others.
“Wait! I'll volunteer! Let go of Feli! I'll go!” He seemed to regret his words as soon as he shouted them, but he raised his hand anyway.
“Vinci, you're being an idiot.” Lorenzo growled, taking aim at Prussia and France.
However France skidded to a stop in shock and dropped Feliciano. An expression of joy on his face. “Ze lovely Nerd~ You would come back for me~” He ran over to Vinci crying dramatically, uncaring of the threat Lorenzo represented, even if Vinci had a hand on his shoulder to hold him back. As soon as he reached Vinci he gathered him into a hug – without groping him. Francis had happy tears in his eyes. “Oh lovely little nerd~ You 'ave made Ze King of L'Amour oh so very 'appy! What is your name little nerd~?”
“V-Ve?? Zoni, don't shoot at fratellone Francis~” Feli said, looking up from the spot he had landed his eyes watering dramatically. “H-He's my big brother too, I don't want him to get hurt~~”
Prussia cackled dramatically. “See? No reluctance here~ Bye crazy Italian-dude~” He scooped up Feliciano and ducked into France’s house since they had reached the front lawn anyway.
Lorenzo frowned at Vinci who was being crushed in the Frenchman’s hug. “This is a bad idea Vinci...”
Vinci just ignored him, awkwardly patting Francis’s back. “Si.... now... let Feli go.”
Francis blinked, putting Vinci down and turning to look behind him, realizing that Gilbert vanished with Feliciano. “I'm sorry~ little nerd. It appears mon ami 'as taken your Feliciano while I was not looking, but come come~ Come to La Palace De L'Amour and I will see eef I can convince 'im to let 'im go.”
He grabbed Vinci’s hand, tugging it and dragging him into the house.
Lorenzo sighed. Vinci... Vinci... Vinci...
Francis looked back and noticed with some confusion that his “little nerd” looked terrified. He smiled at him and winked, hoping to calm him. “No need to be afraid my little nerd~ We shall just get mon chere Feliciano~ Let him out~ And then You and Moi and Gilbert shall share l'amour~ Ohonhonhonhon~”
Vinci started shaking muttering, “Lorenzo was right... Lorenzo was right... Lorenzo was right...”
Vene grinned at Francis and Vinci. “Oh, ciao again~” He waved a bit as Gilbert dramatically bound his hands together with a belt. “I thought Zoni caught you~”
Francis gave one last tug bringing Vinci into the room. “Oh come now little nerd~ Zere's no need to be shy about l'amour~ Ohonhonhon~ Felicia~no! Gilbert~! I 'ave a little nerd 'oo 'as come to play~ But 'e says Feliciano~ has to go home.” He finished with a dramatic pout.
END PART 1
Until Next Time~ Keep Spreading L’amour mes amis~!
~Here there be crazy~
Nerds for Prussia ~ AKA The Molestation of Vinci
Awesome Epic Magnifique~ Part the First. May be continued…
AN: This particular Prussia & Feliciano are Property of Reed. Vinci & Lorenzo are property of Weaver. Head!France is mine, but he’s all Reed’s fault. Taken from the OOC insanity and worked into story format by Me -Kitty, KitKat, (sometimes Shinju). You can also see whiteboard thread for more Vinci & France fun.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. Or characters listed as not mine above. All I own are Head!France, Carina, Kentucky, and this here bucket of hyper Crazy that keeps refilling.
It all started with two simple statements that were posted to the Nations Message Board.
Texweav: “Hey, Nerds are Awesome so Nerds are Prussian!”
ColoKit: “NERDS FOR PRUSSIA!”
That was when Gilbert made his decision. He was claiming all nerds in the name of Prussia, starting with that Italian one… what was the dudes name again? Vinci or something right. Kesesese~
However perhaps an announcement on the board that: “VINCI IS PROPERTY OF ZE AWESOME PRUSSIA!” - was not the best way to go about his claim. All that got him was a two hour argument with the dude’s sister saying that he was Sicilian. Pft. Really? He was far more awesome so of course the awesome nerd was Prussian. Just like Shakespeare. Tomorrow…. Tomorrow he would go to the meeting of all the personifications and claim him in person where his awesome would be UNQUESTIONABLE!
Not that that’s how it went… at all.
As soon as he made his announcement – which he did outside the building at the end of the meeting - other Italians decided to rain on his awesome parade and say that Vinci was theirs…
Well fine. If that’s how they wanted it.
“Weeeeeell, technically Vinci belongs to you by 1/3.” He said with a wide grin, “So you do technically have him~ BUT ALL HIS AWESOME ARE BELONG TO PRUSSIA~ Kesesesesesesesesese~”
He got a few eye rolls at that and Vinci was muttering things that were not awesome enough for them to be repeated by his awesome self, but no one really denied it. SO HIS CLAIM WAS ESTABLISHED!
He threw an arm around the Nerd’s shoulders.
“Aw, c'mon! Being Prussian is awesome! Besides, it should be flattering to be fought over so much~ Kesesesese~”
“Vinci’s awesomer so he’s getting cheated by being owned by Prussia.” Muttered one of the less awesome people still lingering around trying to bring down his awesome.
“Pft~ Vinici is not more awsomer than mien awesome self, the source of all the Welt's Awesome, even if he is close to being equal.” Gilbert said rolling his eyes. Crazy non-awesome people who wouldn’t know awesome if it hit them in the face with Hungary’s frying pan.
“I shouldn’t have to settle for less for places that don’t exist anymore.” The nerd said quietly, finally speaking out for himself. Gilbert would have been happy to see the backbone if he weren’t so offended.
“HEY! East Germany does exist and a lot of those people still call themselves Prussian so you can suck on that!” Gilbert said smirking superiorly.
He didn’t notice the snickers as most of the nations cleared away, leaving only himself, Vinci, Lorenzo, Feliciano, and France standing in the parking lot. Normally Toni would have been there as well but the Spaniard hadn’t been around much lately.
Vinci smirked, slightly more confident now with fewer onlookers. “You should consult history books before trying to argue.”
The albino shrugged. “I’m far too awesome for history books. Besides, no matter what you say now you never denied it! You have agreed to be Prussian! Kesesese~. There’s no getting out of it no matter what pretty words you want to use!”
Vinci became very quiet after that with a slightly fearful expression on his face. He swallowed nervously. What was Prussia planning on doing to him now anyway? He didn’t realize it, but he apparently asked that question out loud.
“Pft~ Do to you? Mien awesome self is not going to be doing anything to you.” Gilbert said with a shrug. “All things that are awesome belong to mien awesome self because I am ze source of all AWESOME. Already I have claimed Van Gogh, Shakespeare, James Joyce, and now Da Vinci. Kesesese~. Now I have ze most awesome bragging rights and I get to hang out with smart artistical people!”
“Ve~ Gilbert just wants friend but this is the only way he knows how~.” Feliciano said snickering a little.
Gilbert pulled the little Italian to him and gave him a noogie.
“QUIET! YOU KNOW NOTHING OF MIEN AWESOME NOTH-”
He was cut off by a quiet. “Va, if he wanted to be friends he should have just asked.” The look on Vinci’s face was one of intense interest in the situation.
Gilbert turned red and started spluttering, “NEIN! I AM TOO AWESOME FOR ‘FRIENDS’! YOU ARE PRUSSIAN TERRITORY!”
“Well aren’t you too awesome then if you’re too awesome to have friend?” Vinci asked calmly with a slightly saddened smile.
Gilbert stopped his ranting and looked over at the Italian nerd in confusion. “Was? I demand you explain this potentially not so awesome logic!”
“Well, obviously if you're too awesome then everyone else will get bored because they have no chance to be as awesome as you. So they find no fun or awesomeness in being with you because you're just too great. And being awesome is irrelevant if you have no one to share and gloat it with, si? So technically by becoming to awesome you cancel out your own awesomeness and thus become lame and have no friends.” Vinci calmly explained to Gilbert.
For a full minute Prussia stood there in silence gaping like a fish. Then once he closed his mouth he started to think about it.
“Va…. I can explain better if you need me to.” Vinci offered wondering if the albino was confused.
“Nein, Nein… Ze Awesome Prussia is not confused, the awesome Prussia is THINKING.”
In all honestly Gilbert was wondering, “… are friends worth being 'less awesome' than mein potential to be?” The quiet question slipped out of his mouth; obviously he wasn’t used to thinking with his inside his head voice.
“Mon ami~ Surely you would not turn down our friendship. Ohonhonhonhon~” Francis said with a wink. He hoped to cheer his buddy up and to ensure that the BTT wasn’t going to be split up because that would be very not magnificent.
“You know, if you're looking to stand out you could also classify yourself as being unawesome, or something different. People would most likely still acknowledge you for being different and like you anyway.” Vinci muttered, obviously still thinking his own nerdy thoughts.
Prussia was horrified at the very thought. “Give up the Awesome?! NEVAH!!!” He ran dramatically over to Francis and glomped him “But Mein Freund, you and Toni are my friends even when I'm at my most awesome! This is a different idea the brainiac's offerin' up! I need to think real hard on it, but after some booze first!!” For a moment he looked around for Toni to go out drinking with his awesome self and Francis, however Toni was nowhere to be found.
“Ohonhonhon~ Mon ami~” Francis grinned hugging Gilbert back and kissing him on both cheeks dramatically. “I am so 'appy to know zat you would not end our ~special~ friendship over what some nerd 'ad to say. Even eef he eez an 'awsome' nerd.” He skipped dramatically over to where he had put down his bottle of excellent red wine in anticipation of the fact that he might need it.
“Oi, Nerds for Prussia! No mockin' or you're mockin' ze almightily Awesome Gilbert!” Gilbert said, following Francis and grinning dramatically. “But nah, it was odd advice. People will accept my awesomeness or they aren't worth it! Zat's why you and Toni are so freaking awesome too! Well, that and you're pretty sexy~” Gilbert finished his awesome statement off with a dramatic wink.
“Ohonhonhon~ My sincerest apologies mon ami~ I did not mean to insult your awesome. All ze best people are awesome and Sexy people~ Alzough, You, moi, and Toni are ze best and most sexy of zem all.” Francis said, winking and dramatically blowing an air kiss at Gilbert.
It was just then that Feliciano decided to speak up from where he was still hanging around, Lorenzo’s watchful eye following the other Italians with the intent to protect them from the perversion incarnate in Francis and Gilbert.
“Ve, what about me, Fratellone Francis?” The smiling brunette asked.
“Kesesesesese, I dunno, we'd better ask Toni and get a group consensus, Feli~” Gilbert said, giving Francis another dramatic wink.
Francis returned Prussia’s wink dramatically. “Ohonhonhon~”
He sashayed over to Feliciano and kissed him dramatically.
“Of course you are tres magnifique Feliciano, mon chere. But zere eez only room for treis most awesome sexy people in zis world. And it is ze tragedy of myself and Toni and Gilbert to be ze treis at ze top of zis~” He said, placing one hand over his heart, his expression that of someone declaring themselves some sort of saint or martyr for taking such a position.
Then Francis looked around in slight confusion. “Where eez our lovely~ Toni anyway? I am finding myself so lonely and we are incomplete without him mon ami~” He directed his question to Prussia.
Off on the sidelines Vinci was still standing around awkwardly, wondering if he had been forgotten. He felt a little upset for some reason that they were already pushing him to the side.
“Kesesesesesese~” Gilbert dramatically claped Feliciano on the back, “Don't worry, Süßer~ You're number vier! We'd totally let you in, but ze triangle is ze most awesome shape in ze universe for a reason~ But we have no problem with you joining us from time to time, ja, Francis?” He finished with an awesome dramatic smirk.
“Toni?” The albino scratched the back of his head thinking, “Dunno, ze awesome Me hasn't seen him for a while... he's probably off havin' fun without us!”
“Oui~ I 'ave no problem with mon chere Feliciano joining sometimes.” The Frenchman replied with a wink and a leer before he heard Gilberts answer about Toni. “Mon dieu~!” He cried out in dramatic distress, his hand to his forehead, “'Ow could 'e 'ave fun wizout us?!”
Of course somewhere in the line of these antics he noticed the little nerd on the sidelines and started smirking again. He suddenly dashed over and kissed Vinci on both cheeks.
“Oh~ Ze little nerd should not be left lonely~ Ohonhonhon~ Per'aps he eez needing some special loving from ze King of L'amour~” At the end of his statement France gave some dramatically pronounced eyebrow wiggling.
The Italian simply gave the Frenchman a look of complete incomprehension. “What? How do you mean?”
Lorenzo stood off to the side with a dark look. Why did Vinci have to be so Naïve…?
“Kesesesesese~” Gilbert grabbed Feliciano and dramatically dragged him over to where the Frenchman and Vinci were standing, patting Vinci on the back. “C'mon, stop sulkin'~ You're a Prussian, show some awesome self-esteem! Besides, you got Feli here to bond with! We'd gladly show you two a good time~~” Prussia said with more overly pronounced dramatic eyebrow wiggling.
“Um... okay?” Vinci said, sounding unsure and looking over at Feliciano “Feli's still breathing, right?”
“Ohonhonhon~ Oui~! Per'aps we can all four share some ~special~ time together. “Francis said with a smirk, “And we can do XXX and XXX.” He leered at Vinci - again with the eyebrow waggling dramatically.
“Ve? I'm fine~” Feliciano answered Vinci with a grin. “It's nice to see you again, Mr. da Vinci! I didn't know you were Prussian too! And don't worry, we all know what we're doing~” Feliciano finished with a dramatic purr.
" Kesesesesesese~ See? All's fine~ Let's show Toni we can have fun without him!” Gilbert exclaimed grinning widely.
Meanwhile Vinci was standing stock still in shock blushing and stuttering inarticulately.
Lorenzo was about ready to kill them; Vinci was delicate and should not be broken…
“Oui~ Oui~” Francis said, not even noticing the dark aura from the spot where Lorenzo was still standing silently. He dramatically started groping any part of Gilbert, Feliciano, and Vinci that he could reach. “We shall show 'im zat we can 'ave an amazing time wizou 'im too~ Right mes amis~?” He grinned devilishly before suddenly giving Vinci a long dramatic kiss on the lips while groping him excessively, knocking the glasses off of his face.
Vinci panicked struggling to pull away, his eyes wide and his arms flailing. He was blushing horribly and was startled with no idea what was going on.
France finally came up for air with a big grin and continued groping Vinci. “Zat was magnifique, Oui~? Do you need some ~love~ as well?” He threw a wink over at the other two. “Do not hesitate to ask~ Ze King of l'Amour is 'appy to share ze love~ Ohonhonhonhon~”
Vinci was gasping trying to get his air back after the sudden kiss. “That... that... was not what I expected.... Please stop...” He whimpered attempting to cover his blush.
“But why should I stop my little nerd~” Francis purred, his attention back on the other Italian, “When you 'ave such a delectable body~” He leered, “Eezen't 'e delicious~ Gilbert~ Ohonhonhon~”
“V-Ve?” Feliciano was feeling rather uncomfortable about the wandering hands and being trapped between the three of them. “M-Maybe we should go slow, before he freaks out, si?” He asked. He really didn’t want to get killed by his Zoni.
“kesesese, where's ze fun in zat, Feli?” Gilbert said snickering.
“Oui~ Zere eez no fun in zat~” Francis said, pouting dramatically before he couldn’t hold it anymore, leering and groping Felciano and Gilbert again, at the same time somehow never releasing Vinci. “Ohonhonhonhon~”
“F-Francis! Stop groping people!” Vinci begged -however there wasn’t enough power behind it to stop someone like France…
Feliciano squeaked before shying away and getting between Prussia, France, and Vinci. “Ve, it's more fun when they go slow,” He said, adding to Vinci in a whisper, “you should run now~” He winked at Vinci before groping France back.
Vinci remained there staring wide eyed, “FELI! What happened to you?!” He asked appalled.
Francis, of course, was distracted by Feliciano’s groping. “Ohonhonhon~ Zat eez more like it~” He turned to Vinci with a grin, “You could learn a zing or two from zat one~” He said before groping everyone around him once again.
“I'm not touching you!” Vinci shouted flailing and attempting to get away.
Feliciano sighed, muttering to the other Italian quietly, “Ve, distraction means run, Vinci!” Then he turned to France, “Ve, I learned from ze best~” He said with a dramatic wink.
“Oi, what about the awesome me, huh? Just chopped liver?” Gilbert complained dramatically trapping Feli between France and himself.
“Oh~ mon chere~ Zere eez no need to be scared~ Just accept l'amour and you will be 'appy and satise-fied before you know eet~” Francis said, hugging Vinci close to him. The reactions from this Italian were just adorable~.
“Ohonhonhon~ Of course you did~” Francis said winking dramatically at Feliciano. “‘Ow could you be shopped livar~ When you are ze spice zat makes zis so nice~ Gilbert, mon ami~” He said, planting a kiss on the albino’s cheek.
Vinci let out a “GAK” noise as he was squeezed and Lorenzo had finally had enough. He marched over to them and away from the wall glaring. “What happened here?”
Francis smiled at him beatifically, “We are just spreading L'amour~ mon ami~” He seemed totally oblivious to the deadly glare on the other man’s face.
“Of course you are.” Lorenzo growled looking ready to knife someone as he watched Vinci and Feliciano held in the grasp of the two perverts.
“V-Ve, ciao, Zoni~” Feliciano said, with a short wave while trying to keep Gilbert's hands out of his shirt.
“Brother...” Vinci sounded slightly afraid, but was trying to keep his pride.
Lorenzo gave Francis and Gilbert a dark look. “.... Francis, Gilbert, I will give you five seconds to run as far as you can. And then I will kill you.”
Francis sashayed up to Lorenzo dramatically dragging Vinci with him. He was apparently oblivious to the danger in which he was putting his life. “Mon Ami~ You look like you could use some of l'amour yourself ~” He said with a wink.
Lorenzo stood there stoically. “Five….”
Francis pouted. “You are no fun~” He smirked groping Vinci before throwing him over his shoulder and shouting “FIVE FINGER SURPRISE AWAY~ OHONHONHONHONHON~”
Lorenzo kept counting. “Four….”
Francis was running at about half pace, waiting for Prussia to join him.
“Oi! Don’t leave without us!!” Gilbert shouted, slinging Feliciano over his shoulder and racing after Francis.
“Ve, cio, Zoni~” Feliciano said, waving at Lorenzo as he was dragged away.
Obviously the Florentine was losing his patience as he counted down, “Three… two… one…” And then suddenly he was chasing them wielding his knives.
“My apologies, mon ami~.” Francis said, slowing for a moment, “I never meant to forget you~” He said as Gilbert caught up and they fell into stride together. “So~ My place or yours~ Ohonhonhon~” France asked, ignoring the potential of the answer being the morgue, and therefore neither.
“Thinking with that awesome dick of yours all the time is going to get you killed, Francis~” Gilbert said with a dramatic cackle. “Your place, Luddi's probably at mine and I don't wanna get cockblocked again~”
“But where is ze fun when not thinking with L'Amore~” Francis said with a wink, “I ‘ave survived so far, non?” Then he grinned happily. “Zen we go to la palace de l'amore~ Ohonhonhon~!” It was probably closer to his place anyway.
Thunks were heard as Lorenzo threw his daggers so they hit right in between where France and Prussia's legs were causing the two to jump slightly and speed up.
“Let me go!” Vinci shouted, fits pounding against Francis’s back.
“Ohonhonhon~” Francis laughed jumping into his car and tossing Vinci into the back seat. The child locks – set for just such an occasion – would prevent the captive from escaping so easily. “Let's go mon ami~” He beckoned Prussia, with his burden of northern Italian man to hurry into the car, which he did. Plopping the other Italian onto his lap on the passenger seat while France got the car into gear.
“Ve, no use struggling, Vinci. “ Feliciano said with a dramatic shrug, looking at the other desperately trying to open the back doors or windows. “You're not getting away unless Zoni catches them or you manage to get out once we reach Fratellone Francis's~” Feliciano grinned a dramatically optimistic grin. “Don't worry, I'll do my best to keep them from doing too much to you~”
Just as Francis was nearly out of the lot Lorenzo popped the car tire with another dagger throw.
“Ohonhonho-“Francis’s laughter cut off abruptly as he lost control of the car. “MERD! Gilbert, mon ami...” He gulped dramatically looking at the other to his right. “Do you 'ave anozer car or are we going to die 'ere?”
Gilbert thought fast. “Just leave the nerd to the Italian, he's Prussian territory now so we'll get him eventually~” He said with a grin, grabbing both Feliciano and Francis before dramatically racing out of the car and off again.
France sniffled and waved dramatically at the Italian still trapped in the back seat. “Farewell until we meet again oh sweet and most delectable~ nerd~” He cried as he ran.
Lorenzo stalked over to the stopped car and stood outside it. “Let's make this quick and easy, shall we?” He had not yet noticed the three fleeing figures and he had a dark aura to him. He yanked open one of the doors only to find a dazed Vinci the only one left in the car.
“What just happened.....?” Vinci asked. Lorenzo said nothing, frowning as he helped the other Italian out of the car, quickly catching the trail of the fleeing perverts who still had Feliciano. Mostly because of the shout from Prussia really…
“Ve'll be back!!” Gilbert shouted cackling dramatically while racing towards France's house. “Oi, you wanna carry Feli for a bit, Francis? He's a bit too calm, if y'know what I mean~”
Lorenzo took out his gun, loading it and aiming it at the fleeing nations. They weren’t far enough to be safe from him yet.
France grinned over at Prussia, happily and dramatically shouting an enthusiastic “Oui~!” Before taking Feliciano from the albino and beginning to grope him again. “Ohonhonhon~ Ze trois of us shall share and spread much l'amour~!”
Lorenzo fired, the shot shaving off some of the Frenchman’s luxurious blond locks. “Cazzo. I missed.” He growled, reloading the weapon.
Francis Yelped and then sobbed dramatically feeling the loss of his hair. “MY 'AIR! 'OW COULD 'E! MY Bea~utiful 'AIR!” He started speeding up and running in a zig zag pattern in an attempt to avoid any more bullets.
Vene let out an “eep” and clung to Francis, trying to avoid Zoni’s bullets. “V-Ve, he's shooting at you~~ I-If you aren't letting me go then run faster!!” He pleaded.
Lorenzo frowned, pulling out more daggers and running after them.
“Feliciano~ Mon chere~ I would never let you go~ Ohonhonhon~ Now,” Francis started very pleasantly, “Please tell your crazy friend zat you want to come with big brozer Francis~ So 'e'll stop SHOOTING AT MOI!” He finished at a shout, running faster. “We are - nearly ‘ome.” He huffed out.
Vinci was running after Lorenzo and the others.
“Wait! I'll volunteer! Let go of Feli! I'll go!” He seemed to regret his words as soon as he shouted them, but he raised his hand anyway.
“Vinci, you're being an idiot.” Lorenzo growled, taking aim at Prussia and France.
However France skidded to a stop in shock and dropped Feliciano. An expression of joy on his face. “Ze lovely Nerd~ You would come back for me~” He ran over to Vinci crying dramatically, uncaring of the threat Lorenzo represented, even if Vinci had a hand on his shoulder to hold him back. As soon as he reached Vinci he gathered him into a hug – without groping him. Francis had happy tears in his eyes. “Oh lovely little nerd~ You 'ave made Ze King of L'Amour oh so very 'appy! What is your name little nerd~?”
“V-Ve?? Zoni, don't shoot at fratellone Francis~” Feli said, looking up from the spot he had landed his eyes watering dramatically. “H-He's my big brother too, I don't want him to get hurt~~”
Prussia cackled dramatically. “See? No reluctance here~ Bye crazy Italian-dude~” He scooped up Feliciano and ducked into France’s house since they had reached the front lawn anyway.
Lorenzo frowned at Vinci who was being crushed in the Frenchman’s hug. “This is a bad idea Vinci...”
Vinci just ignored him, awkwardly patting Francis’s back. “Si.... now... let Feli go.”
Francis blinked, putting Vinci down and turning to look behind him, realizing that Gilbert vanished with Feliciano. “I'm sorry~ little nerd. It appears mon ami 'as taken your Feliciano while I was not looking, but come come~ Come to La Palace De L'Amour and I will see eef I can convince 'im to let 'im go.”
He grabbed Vinci’s hand, tugging it and dragging him into the house.
Lorenzo sighed. Vinci... Vinci... Vinci...
Francis looked back and noticed with some confusion that his “little nerd” looked terrified. He smiled at him and winked, hoping to calm him. “No need to be afraid my little nerd~ We shall just get mon chere Feliciano~ Let him out~ And then You and Moi and Gilbert shall share l'amour~ Ohonhonhonhon~”
Vinci started shaking muttering, “Lorenzo was right... Lorenzo was right... Lorenzo was right...”
Vene grinned at Francis and Vinci. “Oh, ciao again~” He waved a bit as Gilbert dramatically bound his hands together with a belt. “I thought Zoni caught you~”
Francis gave one last tug bringing Vinci into the room. “Oh come now little nerd~ Zere's no need to be shy about l'amour~ Ohonhonhon~ Felicia~no! Gilbert~! I 'ave a little nerd 'oo 'as come to play~ But 'e says Feliciano~ has to go home.” He finished with a dramatic pout.
END PART 1
Until Next Time~ Keep Spreading L’amour mes amis~!